Notes from the Parish Nurse - Dementia
As we age, many people worry about becoming forgetful. We can expect some changes with memory because our brain ages just as our body ages. The ability to process information may slow, there may be a reduced ability to concentrate, more memory cues may be needed, and reaction time may slow. “Memory loss that disrupts everyday life is not a normal part of aging. It is a symptom of dementia, a gradual and progressive decline in memory, thinking, and reasoning skills. The most common cause of dementia is Alzheimer’s disease, a disorder that results in the loss of brain cells.” Alzheimer’s is the seventh-leading cause of death in the United States. It is estimated that over 100,000 people in Minnesota have Alzheimer’s, and it affects over 164,000 Minnesotans who are family or friend caregivers.
Families facing a dementia-causing disease struggle with disbelief, isolation, embarrassment, fear, anger, and/or guilt. “An accepting, reassuring, and uncritical attitude from an informed church community can make a difference. For many families—the church community is the last available social contact, source of meaning, respite, refuge, and identity. It’s the place that is expected to welcome everyone, to be a sanctuary…a safe place where one is known and welcomed with unconditional love.”
We can help persons dealing with memory loss feel more welcome in the church with good communication. “Communication is more than the transfer of information; it is the forming of a connection that includes heart and soul, thought and feeling. What transforms an interaction into a visit, and a communication into a conversation, is as simple as your state of mind.” (Claudia J. Strauss, Talking to Alzheimer’s.) Following are some helpful communication hints.
• Recognizing the signs and symptoms of memory loss and dementia. With knowledge we can better understand the challenges and frustrations our friends are facing and the social isolation they might be feeling.
• Welcoming persons with memory loss or dementia into the congregation. Help them feel welcome. Take it in stride if the person is restless or has a memory glitch. Don’t let the person feel embarrassed or “put on the spot.” Allow time for responses and show your appreciation of the person.
• Making eye contact and using the person’s name as you converse. Introduce yourself, speak in warm tones, and give the person time to process what you are saying.
• “Know the disease the person has—but also take the time to know and appreciate the unique person who has the disease. Acknowledge the person’s contributions, talents and gifts—both past and present.”
• Focusing on the person’s strengths and abilities, not on his or her deficits.
We can also encourage families to stay connected to the church by:
• Acknowledging the changing needs and abilities of their loved one and continuing to offer them a warm welcome and acceptance.
• Making home visits when the individual finds it too difficult to go out in the community. Maintaining your normal friendship which will give balance to the person’s life. Offer to pray or read scripture, play favorite music, enjoy nature, reminisce, look at old photos, or take a walk or drive.
• Offering specific help. Ask for a “to-do” list or notice what help is needed and tell them you will do it.
Do try some of these suggestions so we can continue to be a welcoming and loving church community, especially to persons and families struggling with memory loss.
Resources: Alzheimer’s Association of MN and ND, and Gwyther, Lisa P., You Are One of Us, Successful Clergy/Church Connections to Alzheimer’s Families.